Weight Loss in Your 30s: Why Identity Matters More Than Calories

You’ve been told your metabolism has 'slowed' because you hit 30, and every time the scale doesn't budge, you believe that.

Here’s my completely contradictory take that will move you, & help you see where you are actually slipping.

(P.S: It has nothing to do with your calorie count & protein intake)

Basics first:

Your body weight is a total of water, muscle, different types of fat, bone, organs, etc.

Your body weight naturally fluctuates due to water retention, hormones, digestion and many other factors. This does not mean you are gaining or losing fat overnight.

So instead of obsessing over the number on the scale alone, let’s look deeper at what actually influences your body over time.

After this point, the word weight will be replaced with ‘excess energy depots’

Next, let’s go deeper:

You assume calories influence your metabolism & thus your excess energy storage. But it isn’t that direct.

Your excess energy depots are highly influenced by your choices & behaviours in LIFE.

The obvious ones:

What you eat

How you eat

When you eat

How much do you move

When you move

Sleep cycle

The not-so-obvious ones:

Your consistency in showing up

Your ability to listen & respond to your body's needs

Total nourishment practices: food, sleep, movement, stress, self.

Your exposure & response to stress

Your expression & acknowledgement of emotions

Your safety nets

& even how you view yourself & prioritise yourself

Now, for nearly 30 years, you have had a certain pattern of both these factors.

You carry them as badges of honour & begin to identify yourself through these patterns. This is how you speak with yourself & that results in the actions that you take.

What is the solution?

Firstly, become aware & acknowledge your patterns & how you have internalised them. When I say "internalised," how much do you identify with these habits?

It’s like saying: ‘This is who I am’

I know what you’re thinking: 'But I am constantly bloated, and my hormones feel like a roller coaster, how is shifting my identity going to fix that?'

But here is the secret: your internal environment, stress response, self-talk, and 'always-on' survival mode are like switches for your biology.

When we shift your identity from 'someone fighting her body' to 'someone nourishing her system,' we finally give your hormones and gut the safety & nutrition they need to actually heal.”

For example:

Pattern: You like some sweets after dinner

Identity: I need sweets after dinner

Pattern: You find it tough to change what you eat for long enough

Identity: I am very inconsistent & cannot change my diet

Pattern: You use food to escape tough emotions or stressors, either by skipping meals or eating till too full

Identity: I eat under stress

It is not tough to lose weight in your 30s.

It is tough to unlearn these patterns, understand your body without bias, shift your identity, and avoid returning to old behaviours simply because they feel familiar or comfortable.

When you do this, be neutral to all parts of you. They have got you where you are.

Next, sit in silence & question:

Who is the future version of me?

How does she respond when stressed?

How does she speak to herself after an “imperfect” meal?

How does she rest?

How does she nourish herself on busy days?

How does she move?

What & why does she eat?

You can go a step ahead & visualise yourself as THAT VERSION.

Now, your self-talk & actions will begin to flow from THAT VERSION

I need sweets after dinner, will be replaced by:

Let’s see what I truly need: connection or rest?

I am a stress eater, will be replaced by:

I pause & choose to respond instead of reacting.

I am not consistent with my diet, will be replaced by:

I gently understand my mind-body & respond to it mindfully.

This is why I love identity-based visualisation and meditation practices. Not the kind that forces you to “manifest” a smaller body, but the kind that helps you safely experience the version of you that already feels nourished, rested, trusting and connected to herself.

Because when your mind-body begins to feel safe in that version internally, your choices gradually shift externally. (If you're curious about how we do this, feel free to reach out for 1:1 coaching)

You are not just what you eat. You are what you absorb, what you believe in & how you view yourself.

This is truly the most wholesome approach you can carry to let go of the excess energy depots that no longer serve you, along with the patterns & habits that you have outgrown.

I hope this read is the start of THAT VERSION of you!

P.S: If you struggle with food rules & your 'That Version' eats with ease, I invite you to listen to this podcast on how the food noise creates mental load & how to slowly let go of it: https://open.spotify.com/episode/44KXfBS8yfBesKDgQXKHF2?si=OJ3nwP2FSFKm3E4DG-IXbw

(Images: Pinterest)